Growing Habits
by Alex Hardt, Youth and Young Adult Pastor
“Depending on where you get your numbers,
somewhere between 81 percent and 92 percent of New Year’s Resolutions fail.”
-James
Clear
It’s not just New Year’s resolutions that are hard, but changing
behavior or habits is exceptionally hard. Every day we wake up for most
of us our mornings look pretty much the same. When our schedule changes
or something new is happening within the week, isn’t true that we feel out of
sorts. Our day feels off even if that change is a positive one. We
are creatures of routines. Routines are created by doing the same
practice over and over. Even if we know that a routine is bad for us we
will often continue it out of habit. In high school I developed a bad
habit of chewing gum. I would often go through two or three packs in a
single day often times chewing three of four pieces of gum at a time. My
doctor kept warning me that it was going to affect my jaw and my teeth, but yet
I kept chewing despite the warnings. I eventually had to stop chewing gum
for a period of time because my jaw was in constant pain. Some habits
such as reading our Bibles, praying, or doing daily devotions are beneficial to
our development, character, and overall growth as a Christian. If you’ve
been following Jesus for a while you probably realize the benefits of spiritual
habits like praying before meals, or reading your Bible in the morning, or
praying before you go to bed, or listening to a sermon podcast each week.
But for many new believers, kids, teens, and young adults those habits aren’t
formed.
So how do we help facilitate spiritual habits within our
household, church, and community? How do we
help new believers, kids, teenagers, and young adults grow spiritually? What
should our goals be?
Before we can answer that question, we should probably
start by agreeing on how anyone grows
spiritually. This is where spiritual habits come in. Spiritual habits are the decisions,
behaviors, and rhythms that help us grow spiritually over time.
Spiritual habits that probably first come to mind are: Bible
Reading, Prayer, and Worship
But they aren’t the only spiritual habits that matter, there are
a whole range of spiritual habits that we wish to cultivate. At Covenant
Grove we use the GROWING acronym. God’s Word, Relationships, Offering, Worship,
Impact, New Life, and Gifts. I’m going to focus on two particular habits:
God’s Word and Impact!
SPEND TIME WITH GOD
This one seems pretty obvious. Everything else comes out
of the fruit of this one. After all, if new believers, kids, and
teenagers are ever going to make their faith their own, they’ve got to start
spending time with God on their own. It means opening the Bible on their own,
having conversations with God on their own, and discovering how they best
connect with God through worship on their own.
So How Can We Develop the Habit of SPENDING TIME WITH GOD?
Read the Bible- Spending a few minutes in
the word everyday transforms our whole day. Ever since my kids were born
we have been committed to reading our kids the Bible every night before
bed. This is now something they look forward to each night. When
one of my friends came to Christ, I would send them a verse a day. Then
when we got together we would read the whole chapter. It wasn’t a lot but
it was enough to spark the interest.
Help Them Memorize Scripture- My
daughter has a lock tight memory. Out of all the verses we read each week
I try to get her to memorize just one. When one of my friends was a new
believer I challenged him to change his home screen on his phone to the
scripture he was attempting to memorize or put the scripture on his visor of
his car or mirror in his bathroom. Having the scripture in a place where
it’s regularly visible aides in memorization.
Teach Them to Pray- As a family we have found
small moments to introduce prayer as part of our rhythm of life such as before
meals and before bed. This small practice has provided daily opportunities
to pray while also growing our desire to pray. I challenge my kids to
pray for one of the meals and yes sometimes the prayers are short and other
times its long, but they are learning what it means to pray on their own.
Whether we are with our family, or our friends creating opportunities for them
to talk to God alongside of you builds one’s confidence in prayer.
IMPACT
This month at Covenant Grove we are talking about the Impact we,
as individuals and a church, are having within our community. Our faith
should be a catalyst to bringing about change in our community. When I
was in High School serving alongside others was one of the things that moved my
faith forward the most. Through service I understood what love felt like,
compassion looked like, what joy sounded like, and yes what hope tasted like
(serving at a food bank).
So How Can We Develop the Habit of IMPACT?
Invite them to Serve- This last
week at Covenant Grove we did Fight Hunger where we packed 18,000 meals
together as a church community. Many people brought their families or
invited their friends to serve alongside them. As families and friends
served alongside each other it was hard not to feel the love of Christ flowing
out from that room. I heard many people talking about how they could get
more involved or other opportunities where they might serve at church or within
the community.
Share Experiences of Impact- When you
share your stories, and how God used those stories to help you grow
spiritually, you give others a model for what it looks like to find God in
their stories. Each week we have opportunities to make impact upon those
around us and being intentional about seeking them out, sharing them with those
around, and giving them an opportunity to share likewise not only furthers your
child’s faith or your friends faith but also yours.
Getting Practical about Habits
Start Small- Read one Scripture a week with
your child, teenager, or friend. Then move to daily readings. It’s like
riding a bike, you don’t go from putting your feet on the pedals to riding
without training wheels in a day. Too big, too fast can be a deterrent.
Focus on One Habit at a Time- If you’re
hoping to cultivate faith within your family don’t ask your kids to read, pray,
and serve all at once. Start by praying first at dinner then as that
habit grows add another habit. Overtime you will create a routine of spiritual
habits that not only fosters their faith but yours as well.
Remove Barriers- Put it in your schedule
and theirs, have everything you need on hand, and make it accessible.
Maxwell Gladwell calls it the tipping point, “The tipping point is that tiny
change that makes it easy enough to take action that you’ll actually follow
through. I like to think of it as removing any barriers that make it easy to
not follow through on my habits.”
Stack Habits- One of my favorite ways to build
new habits is to stack them onto existing habits. This builds up several habits
into a routine, and each habit acts as a trigger for the next one. For example
when you drink your morning coffee then read your devotions or send your friend
a devotion. Or when you eat breakfast and pray.
