Conversations Matter
CONVERSATIONS MATTER
by Alex Hardt, Associate Pastor – Youth and Young Adults
“Conversations
matter. Too often we get caught up in the uncertainty of where to begin or
wondering what questions to ask.” – Jennifer Guerra Aldana, Fuller Youth Institute
After being a youth pastor for over 15 years I have realized
that one tool almost more than any other seems to bridge gaps, break down
walls, and connect students into the ministry. It’s a simple tool that we
often forget, yet everyone can do. It can begin, repair, and restore a
relationship. It’s what parents most ask me to do with their students.
“My kid just needs someone to talk to someone, will you talk
with my son or daughter?”
Conversations Matter. People yearn to be seen, to be heard, to
be recognized, to be known. People desire to have a connection with someone
beyond the screen. While a teen may push you away because they are so deeply
entrenched in the screen, what they would rather have is a conversation. The
screen is an inept replacement for the human connection they are lacking.
When we first had our kids, the screen became a babysitter. I’m
not going to lie, it was easier to set my kid in front of screen then to engage
them in the world they were experiencing and desiring to express. Sometimes for
hours on end their eyes glued to the screen when looking away from the screen
felt like an alternate reality to them. One of the things we noticed is the
behavioral changes within my kids as they grew more and more accustom to being
entertained by the screen. Now I’m not saying all things digital are bad, but
the sheer volume has encapsulated our society.
According
to the first-quarter 2018 Nielsen
Total Audience Report, nearly half an adults’ day is
dedicated to consuming this content. In fact, American adults spend over 11
hours per day listening to, watching, reading or generally interacting with
media. Behind this surge are the growing use of new platforms, as well as the
younger, multicultural generations who leverage them.
Isn’t it interesting how a single question can turn a one-minute
conversation into a 15-minute conversation into a lifelong friendship? I
remember working at a coffee shop when I was 17 and this lady would come in
every day. I was a faithful worker and did my job, but I was not much of a
conversationalist as a teenager. Each day I would get her usual and proceed
with the transaction as normal. Our conversations were brief and more on the
efficiency side than the relational side. But one day, for some odd reason, I
decided to ask her about her day and her family. I listened loosely initially
but then over time I began to listen more intently. She would mostly talk, and
I would mostly listen. I worked at that coffee shop for two years and each day
the same lady would come in. I didn’t think much of it, until the last day of
me working there. She asks if I could come talk with her one last time as she
heard I was leaving. She asked me if I knew the reason, she came to this coffee
shop as opposed to Starbucks or Peets, both around the corner? I shrugged my
shoulders. It wasn’t because of the coffee, but because of the
conversation she said. She was older, lived alone, and was retired.
Her conversations with others were sparse and so she found great joy and
comfort in conversing with me even if it was for a few brief moments each day.
She yearned for connection. Conversations matter. Connections Matter. Jesus
understood the importance of conversations. A conversation could invite a
“Fisherman,” yes, a “Fisherman” into leadership, and it could restore a
wandering woman at the well.
So what conversations will you have today? How will you use
those conversations to bring about connection? How can you use that connection
to drive people closer to Christ?
